It has been quite some time since I last posted anything. I graduated school today. It was both happiness and sadness that I felt today as I left the school and all the new friends I made and came home to begin my new path. School was so much more than I expected. I found a place that I really felt I belonged. I never once felt I couldn’t be who I really am inside. The students I met soon became friends and it was amazing to grow and learn together. It was really cool to see each of us find our way and make our own dance of things. Each person was just a little different and it was not only okay, but it was encouraged. I still want to learn more, I have a huge list of classes I want to take, I feel like I have gotten to take a small sip of a wonderful drink. And yet I feel like I am home, like I have been here before and really already know I just have to remember.
I was able to go see my dad last month as I was beginning my schooling experience. It was a short but wonderful visit. It was great to get to spend time with my family. I felt really special for everyone to come out to see me both nights I was there. We laughed so much and shared stories. I was filled with so much love that I felt over flowing. It was really hard to leave. Dad and I had a nice visit. He was out of bed all day and was able to sit and talk to me while he smoked his two packs of cigarettes and drank his beer, old habits die hard. He seemed content all considered. He told me that the doctors think he has cancer but that he thought it was just a “bunch of horse shit”. Well, who’s to say, he is still alive after all. I talked to him yesterday morning and he sounded pretty good. His voice is weak because he has a sore throat, but he carried on a conversation without any trouble. I have been calling each week once or twice to check in. He seems happy to talk to me when I call. I can’t change the past, I can only make different decisions now. I spent a whole lot of time thinking he should call me over the years and I could have been enjoying what time we had instead. So that is what I am doing now, I can only deal with now. So, I call and we talk about nothing in particular and I feel good when I hang up and I think he does too. It isn’t what I imagined, but it is what I have and I’ll take it.
Scott was contacted by a lab in Florida who is doing a study on ALS and the genetic link. 5% of ALS patients have a genetic cause. So he was asked to send a sample of his blood to find out if he had this genetic link. We felt this would be good to do, if for no other reason than it could be a way to find out for sure if this is what he has. So, while we waited for the blood kit to come in the mail we began putting together the family tree that they had also requested. We knew that his Aunt on his mother’s side had passed away from the disease but one person in the family doesn’t mean that he has this genetic predisposition to the disease. After a bit of digging what we found out what that 5 of his mother’s siblings currently have or had passed of some type of ALS, and two of his cousins have it as well. We also found out that they are already in a data base at another lab and that they have information going back some 25 years. This was a huge finding of course. The next thing we found was that they all had in common a mutated gene, and that it meant that he would also have that gene. He is going to be tested to be sure but the lab in Florida couldn’t take him for the study they were doing since it wasn’t the same gene that their study was looking at. The other lab is going to take a look at his blood and maybe this will mean that he will be able to be in a different study. So we continue to move forward in search of some kind of a solution.
We decided recently that it was best that he not drive in his current condition and hope that it isn’t permanent. Over all I think he is taking it pretty well. This has been a big change in our day to day, but made much easier than expected by so many people coming together and lending a hand in one way or another. Every little bit helps so much. I’m getting better at asking for help and am just filled with so much gratitude for each and everyone of you that have come through when I’ve needed it. I feel like I am gathering an army in a way and honestly feel that my back is covered and that feels good to know.
So, in a nutshell it has been one heck of a month since I last blogged. I have learned a lot about myself, made new friends, traveled, reconnected and found some unexpected and sobering clarity. I look forward to practicing my new learned skills and seeing where it all leads me next. I look forward to getting back to my garden and planting something for the winter. Maybe even indulging in a little knitting project or reading one of the books for book club! The next month should be much less busy as I wait for my license from the State so that I can begin work. I also look forward to getting back to more meditation and exercise. And as the holidays approach it will be nice to be home to do some baking!
I am continuing to pray for a treatment to become available that will help Scott and as always ask that you all please pray, think positive, send energy or whatever your method, it is all appreciated and felt. Namaste
