Tomorrow will be a year since Scott passed. A lot has happened in the past year. I couldn’t see then that I would be where I am now. Today I was thinking that two years ago in April I could not have seen that a year later Scott would be gone and I would be here alone raising our kids and carrying on with our lives without him here. So much can change very quickly. As we mark a year as passed it is good to see how far we have come and maybe spend some time beginning to look forward to what is next.
I spent some time today reading my posts that I have written so far and it made me realize just how much we have gone through in the past couple of years and how far we have come in our healing and just in carrying on with our lives in general.
I have plans tomorrow of planting my summer garden. I cleared out the winter crops a couple of days ago. It was a successful winter garden, which was progress over the year before. I am once again beginning to enjoy my garden. There were many dark days that I didn’t think this would be possible. With help from some friends along the way I have been able to look to my garden again as a place to find peace and joy even. This year I am planting tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, green beans, chamomile, butternut squash, and I am sure many more things that I have yet to decide upon.
Balto has just gone through puppy training school and has come home and is well on his way to being a very well behaved puppy. I didn’t think it was possible but now believe that he is going to be a joy to have around rather than a stress on my life. Most of the training of course was for me. I had to learn to be in charge, which as many of you know is not my strong suit. It is interesting to me to learn that once a dog knows you are in charge he then will relax and give up trying to be in charge himself. Balto seems to have accepted this pretty fast and is content with his job of staying in his place. We still enjoy our running together and soon I think we will be running more as I think I will begin training for a 10k. I know he will love logging the extra miles.
For the boys the year has had some ups and downs. We have navigated through the beginnings of the teens and preteens and I think all in all we are doing well. School has proven to be the biggest challenge as like I have said in earlier posts that this is not my strong suit. Scott was always the one to help with all the homework. I would definitely say that he was the brains of the operation. We are accepting that there are things I just can’t do and for those things we reach out for others to help and look to find other resources. Mostly that has gone well and while we have had many bumps along the way, we find that we bounce back and get centered and keep on rolling through.
The house has gone through a bit of an overhaul. We got a new roof, fixed some floors, changed the doors, painted the shed and have started some landscaping. All just spiffing things up a little here and there and doing some of the things that Scott and I had planned to do when we originally moved in. As I have gone through this process it has really made me appreciate along the way all the things he was able to do over the years himself. He always refused to pay for anything, he would find a way to do it himself. If he didn’t know how, he would figure it out. I now realize why and just how much money he saved us over the years. He really was amazing in that way and I really do miss him.
