Setting Intentions

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There is a old African proverb that says “The best way to eat an elephant in your path is to cut him up into little pieces.” While I have no intention of ever eating an elephant, I have been experimenting with this idea in relationship to accomplishing my New Years goals. The idea of breaking things down into smaller more manageable pieces makes it easier to accomplish something that might otherwise feel overwhelming. 

On New Years Eve, in an effort to stay awake till midnight, my son and I watched Joe Rogan’s podcast #1070 where he interviewed Jordan Peterson about his book, “12 Rules for Life”. This was the first I had heard of Jordan Peterson and was surprised when my 20 year old son disappeared into his room and came out moments later holding copy his book. He had already discovered Jordan Peterson a few years ago. The podcast was very good and I have since started reading the book. The part of the show that caught my attention was his reference to this idea of breaking things down into smaller pieces. Instead of suggesting how one might eat an elephant, Peterson told a story about how he had asked his students how much time they spent studying each week. Next, he had them break down what was involved in studying, like the travel to the study location, getting a coffee, getting distracted etc, to get a better idea of how much time was actually spent on  the studying. Then he suggested that they dedicate only 15 minutes each day to study. At first it sounds like it won’t work because it isn’t much time, but when you focus only on that one activity, without distractions, you can get a lot more done than when setting out to study for 2 hours and getting distracted along the way. Fifteen minutes is easier to stick to and in the span of the week you wind up getting a solid hour and forty-five minutes of work done. This was my first introduction to Jordan Peterson, but not to this concept. 

Years ago I followed “The Fly Lady”, Marla Cilley, who gives advice and support online to help declutter and reorganize your life. Along with setting routines to follow each day, she also had this method for decluttering your home in 15 minute segments of time. The idea is to take small chunks of time so that you gradually get things organized rather than face the overwhelming task of organizing your whole life all at once. Listening to the podcast reawakened in me this forgotten advice. Since it was the beginning of the year I decided it was a good time to take action and put this method to good use. Here is what happened this week. 

The first goal I set for the New Year was to get back to my yoga practice. Before the pandemic, my yoga practice consisted of four to five 90 minute hot yoga classes a week.  I have to admit that I have not had much success in sticking to videos and zoom classes since things have shutdown. I started out with a few one hour classes over zoom a week and a couple of outside classes, but at some point my practice just fell off entirely.  One of the problems was having a space where I could practice uninterrupted. Once I created a space where I could close the door as to not be disturbed, I made a commitment to practice 30 minutes a day. Each day this week, I rolled out my mat, set my timer for 30 minutes and did whatever yoga my body needed that day. 30 minutes, no more, no less. I resisted the urge to quit and also the urge to do more. My goal was to set the habit. Each day was different. Some days I had more energy and so I did more vinyasa, while other days I wound up doing more stretching and yin. I found it easy to  stick to, and have found myself looking forward to it.

In addition to the physical benefits of improved strength and flexibility, from the return to my practice, I have noticed a big change in my energy. The funk that I had been in for several months has lifted and I no longer feel like I am moving through molasses. I also find myself looking forward to my practice each day. The last two nights I decided to add 15 minutes before bed and noticed that my sleep is improving as well. 

Another goal I set for myself is to post one blog post every week for one year. To accomplish this goal, I set out with the intention of writing for an hour each day. It didn’t work out as well as the yoga. I started the week off well, but by the end of the week I didn’t write at all. Here I am, like a college student scrambling to write their term paper at the last minute.  I realized that the missing piece to accomplishing my goals for the year is accountability. It isn’t enough to set the intention and break it down into bite size pieces and following through. It is important to have accountability. Without accountability, it is easy to let things slide until you have lost sight of the goal entirely. After all, if nobody sees me eat the elephant then how do they know I did it? In keeping with the idea of accountability I am setting my intentions here on my blog. Today will be my second blog post of the year out of 52. I will call my intention “ 52 Weeks of Accountability”.  It officially starts today and I will post every Monday in 2021. I hope that you will follow along and support me in my goal. What are your goals this year?

If you like what you read, please  be sure to hit the like button and drop me a comment. You can also subscribe for free to be sure that you never miss a post. Until next week, Much Love and Light.

Hitting the Snooze Button on 2020

I rolled out of bed this morning, resisting the urge to hit the snooze button, when I remembered the commitment I had made to myself last year. I had committed to getting up early each morning so that I could write my morning pages and work on my book before I started my day. Somewhere I had read that hitting the snooze button was like breaking a commitment to yourself. Somewhere along the way I not only broke my commitment to myself, but I actually forgot that I had made one. I had hit the snooze button on my dream.

To be fair, 2020 brought more challenges than any of us had expected. At first I was able to continue on with my usual sunny disposition, finding positive things to focus on. To be honest, when the salons were closed the first time, I was happy for the break from my hectic schedule, finding contentment in staying at home. School continued online, so I spent much of my time studying, while taking breaks to work in my garden and sew masks for those who needed them. Hiking, road trips and romantic adventures provided a much needed distraction from the news about the pandemic, riots and election looming in the future.

My sunny disposition faded after my birthday when I was hit with a terrible case of poison oak that landed me in bed for nearly a month, drugged up on steroids and antihistamine to control the spread of the rash and the terrible itching. The weight gain from the steroids was made worse from what seemed like the whole state of California being on fire, sending us all inside to escape the unhealthy air quality caused by the smoke. The salon had again been ordered shut for the second time and so it seemed there was nothing to do but sleep and hope that I would wake up from this terrible nightmare that was unfolding before my eyes. 

In August I logged off Facebook to avoid reading about all of the mayhem in the world and threw myself full force into work to make up for the loss created by the second shutdown. School started and I was happy to have a distraction and something else to focus on. 

Happy to be able to work, we all went along with the mask mandate and found ways to work around the mask while cutting and coloring hair and helping people recover from months of isolation. This proved to have it’s challenges along with the energy of everyone being much different than before. It was also becoming evident that taking a Humanities class during a global pandemic had been a terrible choice as I was learning that humanity hasn’t learned much in the past 600 years. Never mind the repetition of plagues and fires and upheaval. This added to the heaviness of the year in a way I had could not have anticipated, making it even more difficult to keep my positive attitude. 

I managed to pull myself together for my son’s wedding in November, which was the big highlight of the year. Even though it wound up being postponed twice due to the fires and reduced to only 10 of us able to attend, they were able to pull off a beautiful ceremony with breathtaking views of Yosemite National Park. We created some wonderful memories that weekend that we will never forget. 

The next week when I showed my client the pictures from the wedding, she asked me if that was me in the picture. When I told her yes, she exclaimed “Wow! you’re really cute!”. It was then that I realized that she had never seen my face. I had started doing her hair after the first shutdown and we had only seen each other while wearing our masks. It is really strange to realize that I have clients that I wouldn’t be able to recognize on the street if I were able to see their faces.I also realized how long it had been since someone had complimented me. 

Wearing a masks has changed how we communicate. It has made me more aware of  the impressions that are formed before anything is ever said. Without facial expressions to assess someone’s mood, we are left to interpret body language and look into each other’s eyes which are much more telling of our inner world. Smiling with our eyes and doing the dance of the now familiar air hug when running into old friends, is the new normal. I miss hugs most of all. I dream of things returning to normal so I can again take in the features of my friend’s faces and hug them more tightly than usual, never again taking the affection for granted.  

Like most people, I am happy to have 2020 behind me, though I am happy to know that as I enter 2021 that we are all healthy and I have added a daughter and a puppy to my family. My boys are both reaching for the stars and are making me proud everyday.  It is hard to believe that both of my children are now grown men and one is married and getting ready to move away. 

2020  took me to my knees and effectively chewed me up and spit me out to finally land upright and center where I had started. This time with a new awareness. This morning my first thought was that I didn’t need to get up this early and then I remembered that commitment that I had made to myself a year ago. I turned off my alarm, resisted hitting the snooze and I rolled out of bed and set to write my morning pages. Incidentally, I have kept my commitment of writing these pages for over a year now. I realize that I haven’t lost track of my dream. I had just hit the ultimate snooze button on a year that is best remembered as a bad dream.  As I wake up in the year 2021 I pick up my pen and begin again to make my dream a reality.